More stuff and nonsense...

I seldom champion the cause of the Gangsta Rapper (my un-PC friend says that they sing "co*n tunes", which I think is an hilarious term!*). Today, however, I champion the cause of one Kayne West. I think the photographer got off lightly. Take my photo without asking, I'll break more than your camera.
~Milady
XXX
* I am not, repeat, not racist. I'm just very politically incorrect. I think "Co*n tunes", "Bog w*g", "P*ki shop" etc are all perfectly ok. I'm allowed to say them, just as any Tom, Dick or Gunga-Din is allowed to call me a red-haired, slatternly old cum-dump.

Still not right

I'm still not back to "normal" (whatever that was).

Hope it all goes away soon.

In other news, Aunty Flow is late. BOLLOCKS!
~Milady
XXX
PS: I'm not up the spout, I can guarantee that! Chance'd be a fine thing...

Jane Mansfield's Balls

I'm not a well woman. My shit's like cakemix and smells like dead people.

I've been sick down myself twice this evening and the second time it came out of my nose.

BLARGH!!!
~Milady
xxx

Get a fucking life...

Some people clearly can't cope with life. They get upset by popcorn. They need to get a fucking life. If you want to watch a movie in utter silence, wait for the DVD or book-out the cinema, don't watch it in public. The cunts who do things like this are the same ones who don't like you drinking alcohol in public and try to ban it on the London Underground (as if that's actually stopping anyone! How can you tell someone sipping Coke from a bottle from someone sipping Bacardi-and-Coke? Absurd and a waste of tax payer's money) or get arsey if someone's dropping litter in one of the maaaaany places in the UK which has no public litter bins (due to terrorist threat, although why anyone would put a bomb in a bin when they could just as easily hide it just about anywhere else...).
~Milady
xxx

Mea culpa

I'm far too busy to write anything funny, I've got guinea pigs to look after and they are fantastic. I want to be one when I grow up.
~Milady
XXX

Get your tits out for the patatvreters

Do like Zoe and I have done and get your boobs out for Belgium!

First to correctly guess my top-bollocks gets a prize.

Any gentlemen wishing to get their cocks out for comedy value, e-mail them to me at chezmilady@gmail.com.

~Milady
XXX

Of shits and stupors

I'm on a diet. Well, not a proper diet, I'm just trying to eat less junk and more things which are good for me. I've gone a bit 1980s and gone on the high-fibre, so that's lead to some rather impressive poo.

T'other night out was a bit strange. The Cunt was back to his good old self and I don't think we managed to say more than 5 words to eachother all night. I texted him the next day to see if anything was wrong but I've heard nothing since. I cannot be arsed to worry about him, I've bigger and more important things to care about and if he wants to play silly buggers then he can go and do it with someone else.

I've drunk far too much beer this week. I've had some fantasticly strange dreams due to alcohol. I must try and not drink next week, give my liver a rest...

The fish aren't very exciting but they do seem to like me and haven't tried to bite me yet. Guinea pigs next week. Can't wait!
~Milady
XXX